Grief is Funny

Grief is funny. And way more complex than people say.

It’s not as step-by-step as people say when they talk about the “5 stages of grief.” In reality, it’s more of an ongoing process that can last a lifetime, cycling through phases repeatedly. At least, that’s what grief has felt like for me.

Over the past six years, I have grieved so much. I have grieved relationships, businesses, dreams once held, and even the physical body I once had. But the hardest grief has been the loss of one of my best friends. Six years ago today, my beautiful Meme left this Earth and became one of my angels.

I think of her often. I wonder if she would be proud of me, if she would have stayed in our new home, or how many times we would have gone wine tasting in Oregon. I think about the trip to France we talked about and if she would have been excited to know we were considering starting a family soon.

When we grieve, it’s easy to dwell on the “what-ifs.” But often, we overlook the lessons we learned from the person or situation we are grieving. Some lessons can help us in this exact moment.

If there’s one thing my Meme taught me, it was resilience. She not only fought cancer, but she danced her way through it—literally. She went out more than I did, spreading her joie de vivre to everyone she met. She was never afraid to serve loving truth when needed.

As I navigate this unpredictable and overwhelming time in my life, I think about what she would say to me. I imagine say, “Breathe,” then blast some Edith Piaf and open a bottle of $5 Gato Negro.

So today, I started my day with a breathwork meditation, belted out "La Vie En Rose" between meetings, and ended my day with one of her favorite meals, Chicken Francese (and also yelled every French curse word I know because I was out of wine).

Tu me manques beaucoup, ma belle.

Je t’aime toujours. 

Love you love you love you.

xx

Poupette